I had been dating Jeremy for a while, and I was in my sophomore year of college. Needless to say, I was, like, pretty fucking surprised we got pregnant. We’d been talking about getting married and stuff, but definitely a baby made it so we got married pretty quick. That was stressful in itself, but it didn’t help that we were having issues pretty much from the time I found out I was pregnant all the way through.
John is now two years younger than I was when I found out I was pregnant with him. And just seeing where he is in his life, it just seems surpris[ing] how crazy it was that we decided to have a baby and do it all.
I had found out I was pregnant at about seven and a half weeks. I knew that I felt off. I’ve always been irregular, so I don’t know how I knew so early on that I was pregnant. Throughout my pregnancy, I had several abruptions, and then I had several kidney stones.
First abruption was at eight weeks. I was sent home that night. They didn’t keep me, but at 16 weeks, I had a pretty significant bleed, and they kept me for two and a half weeks at the hospital.
So Jeremy’s family used to own [the hospital]. And so there was a lot of nepotism and special treatment and things that I don’t really know if it was anybody else would have happened.
I had a room in the hospital that was always dedicated to me, and I had a special card that in the middle of the night, if I was having kidney problems, I would just show the front desk, and they would put me in my room. I was pretty much in there the majority of my pregnancy with long stretches, and then they would try to send me home, and then I would bleed. If I wasn’t bleeding, I would have a kidney stone.
I think I was hospitalized 19 times, varying from a couple of days to weeks. And then by the time I was, I believe, 27 weeks pregnant, I was there until I delivered at 33 and three.
But about 24 weeks, they did the procedure with my kidney stent being put in. I was already in the hospital for kidney stones, and my urologist and my OB, were, like, arguing back and forth if it was appropriate to put me under. And [my urologist], being an older doctor, was really worried about the implications to the baby.
But with my OB, she was fairly confident that everything would be okay. She had done her residency at Ben Taub {a level 1 trauma center}. And so she had seen way worse things than a pregnant girl being put under for a stent. She ended up winning that battle.
And what they were doing there was my kidney would get angry, essentially, from the kidney stone. It would have what you call hydrophonosis. And what that does is it kind of swells your kidney, and it creates pain. And then from me passing so many stones, my ureter [would] spasm. And so the urine couldn’t go from my kidney to my bladder. So I was on pain medicine.
Putting a stent in helped a lot because it meant that I could pass urine, and it was fine. So I was pretty happy. They’re like, “I think you can go home.” And I was like- okay.
And then that night, went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And evidently, I don’t remember this, but the stent fell into my bladder because of the spasming of my ureter. If you think about it as like a straw and another straw inside of it, my ureter, which is the outside straw, was spasming, so it was like pushing on it in and out. And so it wiggled from my kidney all the way down into my bladder.
And when I went to the bathroom, there was blood everywhere because it was just bleeding really bad. And I passed out from I think it was not so much loss of blood, but it was more pain than anything. Jeremy, I guess, who knows how much longer later, wakes up and then finds me, like, in a pool of blood, flips out, kind of picks me up and takes me to the hospital where I had a room. He said it was pretty terrifying. It was really scary.
And then after that, they had to put me under again that night to get it out. And so that didn’t work. I was in pain the entire pregnancy.
And then I went home, and Jeremy and I decided to go to our bay house [an hour away]. And I was like, “oh, I’m spotting a little bit.” And he was like, “Is it bad?” And I was like, “no, but I don’t want to go back to the hospital” because we had been so much. And we get all the way down [there], he’s unloading the car, I stand there, and then I have a major bleed. So we have to pack up and go back to the hospital.
Used our little card. They put me back in, and I didn’t come out of the hospital after that until I delivered. Actuality, it was pretty scary because they were giving me pretty hard narcotics. But what they were telling me was it is better for the mother not to be in excruciating pain. If I was in excruciating pain, it would put stress on the baby. And so it would be better to be on pain medicines, even if it meant (and thank God we didn’t have to), we had to wean John off of them after.
We were very lucky that towards the end of my pregnancy I did not have another kidney stone. I had my last one right after the stent. The main reason why I was having so many stones and stuff: I have a Medullary Sponge Kidney on my right side.
Most kidneys are filters. Mine is like a sponge. It soaks up everything and creates stones. And I was just lucky enough that John attached to my right side of my uterus as he was growing, he was pushing up against the right side of my body, which meant that it was causing my ureter to spasm and stuff, which was causing the kidney stones and everything else. Just luck of the draw.
I was already being monitored since I was in the hospital and I was actually having my baby shower in the hospital. The room was really big. It had sofas, a big armoire with a TV. It wasn’t your average hospital room by any means. It was probably about the size of three regular hospital rooms. So it was fairly big.
But when I was in for abruptions, I couldn’t get off my left side. I had to stay laying on my left side the entire time. I could get up to go to the bathroom, but I couldn’t shower but once a week because they didn’t want me up and bleeding. So they would give me like sponge baths, essentially, because I would have to just lay there. Dry shampoo was my friend. It was really hard.
It sucked too, because you have to remember you’re still in a hospital, so they’re waking you up every 4 hours so it’s like you’re not really sleeping. It was hard on our relationship, it was hard on my friendships because you have this expectancy of a super joyous time of being pregnant.
And I was terrified to even move. I thank God that I did it as young as I did, because I can’t imagine with what I know now, trying to do that again.
[The baby shower] was as happy as it could be. Strange, because everyone came in and it was a lot of fun, but it was kind of somber too. And the girls came up so much during my pregnancy and just hung with me.
So in the middle of my baby shower, someone came in and they were like, we need to check you. And I was like, “Why, what’s going on?” And they’re like, “well, the baby is desatting oxygen.” And his heartbeat would go down, could see that on the monitors.
I [had] only gained 12 pounds. [I was] 108 when I first got pregnant. I was itty bitty, so there wasn’t a whole lot of room for baby. [My OB] came in, and mind you, all the girls are there. And I’m eating chocolate cake. Like, as she’s doing it, she was like, “you’re never going to believe what John is doing.” And I go, “what?”
And she goes, “he is finding his umbilical cord and grabbing onto it to play with it. And as soon as he passes out, he let go.” She was like, “you got to be careful with this kid. He’s going to like drugs. Kept doing it over and over again.” She was like, “he’s getting lightheaded, and he likes the feeling.” And I was like, “well, shit, we need to get him out.”
We were lucky that she kind of planned for an early delivery. So I was given steroid shots. The lungs are the last thing to develop, and they give one shot, and then they wait two days and they give another.
On September the first, I started having contractions. So what they did was they put me on magnesium sulfate to try to slow them down and stop them. So magnesium sulfate is a nasty drip. They put it in your IV. It makes your whole body feel like it’s on fire. And so they have to set the room temperature down to freezing. Everybody else was like, in parkas.
And I was naked above the sheets, like, so fucking hot. And like a bralette and panties [like a beached whale]. Just so hot. And I wasn’t sleeping because I was so hot. So one of the nurses gave me a Benadryl, try to help me sleep. And I fell right asleep. I did not know that I have an extreme reaction to Benadryl, especially with magnesium sulfate. I woke up about 45 minutes later. And like I’m saying, I was itty bitty. So Jeremy was able to lay in the hospital bed with me.
So we’re in the hospital bed, and I woke up, like, thrashing. I was like, “get out of my bed. My husband’s going to be pissed.” And the walls were melting. I didn’t know who he was. The walls were melting. Like I was hallucinating. It’s terrifying. My contractions then started getting heavier because I guess I was flipping out. They gave me another medicine. I don’t remember what it was. It calmed me down, which calmed the contractions down.
Once the Benadryl wore off, we realized I was not ever to have Benadryl again. And then they’re telling you, “you may have to push out a baby.” This is not going to work today. When they first started the magnesium, they started the first steroid shot. So then they were able to hold off the contractions, and they finally stopped.
They had to take me off the magnesium because I got pneumonia. Laying in one position, the fluid collects and there’s something- I don’t know what it is with magnesium that they’re already checking you for pneumonia. Pulmonary kept coming down and having me blow in this thing, like, to check to see how hard I could blow. It was terrifying. Finally, the contractions all slowed down. I ended up getting my second steroid shot. So that is why we were prepared for John to come early.
I’m so glad I was young and dumb and didn’t have the knowledge that I have now. And I was like, “okay, this is what we’re doing.” She’s like, “okay, we have to go in and get them.”
Okay. So she’s like, I’m going to have the anesthesiologist come by and talk to you. And he was like, “I need you to stop eating chocolate cake and lasagna now.” If they have to do a C section, the last thing he wants in my stomach, bunch of food. It’s kind of like you’re going into a major surgery.
And he was like, “please stop eating cake.” He was like, “we’re going to go ahead and wheel you to the delivery side.” So L and D at that time was, you have labor and delivery, like, where you’re having the baby, and then all the sick moms are on a different part. They wheeled me over to the delivery side. So I was like, okay. And he was like, “you’ve got to stop eating.” I was like, “okay.” And he left. And he goes, call me when you want your epidural. And I was like, “okay.”
So they wheeled me over to the delivery side, and they put in this… like it was essentially a tampon. And they put it up in there, and it was softening my cervix. And they had it in, I guess, overnight. And then later on, [my OB] came in and checked me. And she was like, I’m going to strip your membranes. And I was like, “oh, yay.”
So she stripped my membranes. And then she goes, I think I’m going to pop your water, which is essentially like a crochet hook. It is a scary looking device. It doesn’t look like that’s where it goes. So she popped it, and she was like, you’re going to start feeling contractions now. And she goes, do you want your epidural? And I was like, “well, yeah.” And she goes, “you’ve been through a hard enough pregnancy. I’m not going to have you wait for an epidural.” So I was super thankful for that.
They came in, put in the epidural. I felt maybe two contractions. That’s it. And we hung out there. I slept a little bit, whatever. About 1 o’clock, she came in and checked and she was like, I think you’re ready to start pushing.
And this is kind of where the nepotism kind of stuff comes in. But this is like the stuff that starts to get really fucked up.
So they then wheel me into the surgical room. She was like, I want to be prepared in case we have to do a C section. And I was like, okay. And she goes, that’s why we’re going to just go ahead and do it in the operating room. A lot scarier looking than the nice room that they normally have you deliver in. It gets even scarier because then she’s like, I want to have another doctor here just in case. So I think it was like three nurses, two doctors, my pediatrician came in, and then we had another NICU doctor and then several NICU nurses. I had, like, a huge audience.
I don’t think that that’s normal. In fact, I know that that’s not normal. I know that my father in law was really nervous and wanted everybody in the room in case something bad happened. My father in law wanted to make sure John was okay. Everybody is there to take care of it. And so I’m about to start pushing, and I shit you not, the head of the hospital comes in and goes, “okay. So I’m in a weird predicament.” And I was like, “you are? I have my legs up and everybody’s in the fucking room. What’s your weird predicament?”
And he was like, “Jeremy’s parents are demanding NICU bracelets.” We were like, “okay.” And we’re like, “well, what does that mean?” He goes, “well, only two parents or two people can go to the NICU every hour for ten minutes. And if they have bracelets, that means that they can go and you can’t.”
I was like, “no, they can’t have bracelets. They can come with me, but they’re not going to go see my kid if I can’t.” And he was like, “well, they’re really pressing me.” And I was like, “well, go out there and say no.” I was like, “does anybody else have this?” And they were like, “no, but your mother in law and father in law really want it.”
And I was like, “absolutely not.” In between pushing, this guy keeps coming in and out asking for these damn bracelets. And then finally my OB stepped in and was like, you have to leave and they’re not getting fucking bracelets. End of story.
That was great. I then pushed John out. They ended up putting me on oxygen because my heart rate was starting to go down while pushing because I was just tired. But we ended up getting him out.
And I remember asking Jeremy, I’m like, “is he beautiful?” Jeremy was like, “no.” And you have to remember, John was only 33 weeks, so he was itty bitty. He was barely 4 pounds. He still had all of his fur.
I was like, “what do you mean?” And he was like, “he looks like a gecko.”
“What?”
He goes, “yeah, he looks like a furry gecko.”
When you have him that little, they’re not what you think that a baby is going to look like. Jeremy ended up following him. I was like, “I’m going to finish this out. You follow the baby.”
I was back in my room before Jeremy came back, and they needed to do testing and everything. I had him at 1:23 in the morning. I wasn’t able to see him until about 8:00 AM.
It was a traumatic birth. And then not to be able to see him was really hard. [My girfriends] all stayed during my delivery. They were out in the waiting room, but as soon as I was wheeled back into my room, it was, like, really awesome to have my girlfriends there. Kiki brought Whataburger because I was able to eat again. It was awesome.
So about 8:00, I was finally able to see and hold John. He actually did pretty well. He just had a low birth weight. We only stayed in the hospital four days, and that was from a lot of pushing on Jeremy’s father’s side. They wanted the baby to come home, and if the baby didn’t have any issues, then we should send the baby home. And the pediatrician was like, “some of these issues with these little guys don’t show up right away.”
They’re like, “well, if he can pass the car seat test, then he needs to be able to come home.” So the car seat test is any NICU baby, before they can leave, has to be able to sit in a car seat while monitored and not de-sat. They have to maintain heart rate, breathing… heart rate and breathing and temperature in a car seat for 20 minutes. And John passed his car seat test.
He was barely 4 pounds because they always lose weight. Day four, they’re like, “well, you’re going home.” And I was like, “are you sure we’re ready to go home?” And they were like, “yeah.”
We took John home and it was the first night that we got home. For some reason, I woke up at 1:00 in the morning to go check on him. He wasn’t crying or anything. I got up, went to check on him, and he was blue and not breathing.
I start screaming. Jeremy comes into the room. He takes everything off the dresser. We put John on it and we’re trying to wake him up. He finally looks up at us and takes this huge, deep breath in and started breathing again.
We call the ambulance. Ambulance comes. They take us to Texas Children’s. So now, since John has been home and he was not admitted from hospital to hospital, he’s what you call a dirty baby. It means that he’s been in the outside world and so he could not go to their NICU. He had to go into this other section of NICU. The big deal with that is it’s more germs because those babies have been exposed to the outside.
We get there and they were astonished that John was able to go home. This baby should never have left the hospital. John ended up there for about three weeks and he was put on caffeine, he had apnea. And apnea means that essentially, he hadn’t finished baking yet, so his brain didn’t automatically breathe. So the caffeine kept his brain awake enough to remember to breathe. And they also put him on heartburn medicine because he had acid reflux really bad.
He stayed there for about three weeks, and we lived out of a hotel room across the street, and I got to be with him 24 hours, like, as much as I could bedside next to him as [compared] to [the other hospital], where I had to leave and come back and forth.
So when we left, he was on an apnea monitor. What it was was a strap that had two leads on it, and we put it across his chest, and the two leads led to a it looked like… do you remember those gray tape decks that we had that you could record on? It was, like, about that size, and it had, like, a strap on it. And anytime he would stop breathing for 20 seconds or more, this alarm would go off, and it would alert us to go look at him, but it also would wake him up, too. In the beginning, it happened a lot, sometimes two or three times a night.
And during the day, if we had him had eyes on him, we didn’t have to have the machine with him. But you would be holding your baby, and you would think, like, you’re having this loving moment where you’re just, like, gazing into the eyes of your child, and then all of a sudden, you’d see him turn dusky, be like “John!” and then you’d see him go and catch his breath.
It was really bad for the first six months, but after that, it began to get less and less.
The other thing we had to deal with was he had major GI problems. And so these are just things that happen when you’re just not done baking. He was allergic to my breast milk, which hardly ever happens. Couldn’t take normal formula. We had to get this prescription only formula from Texas Children’s, and of course, insurance didn’t cover it. It was $80 a can, and the can lasted two days, and he would projectile vomit it- like he could hit you from across the room.
You were just waiting for his head to start spinning. So not only were you spending money, like, lots and lots of money on this formula, he was just throwing it up.
But by the time he was a year old, everything had kind of evened out. His tummy started to get better. Once we started adding solids, he wasn’t so dependent on milk. And by the time he was a year old, we were able to get him off the formula, and he was put on goats milk, and we never had to use the monitors anymore.
The only other thing that he had to do for the first two years of his life was during RSV season. We have to go in to get a Synagis shot, and Synagis is a special shot that only has a very short shelf life. And they would call you in the morning to confirm the appointment and you would say, yes, you were going and you would have to drive there. They weighed the baby, gave him the shot that protected him for one month from RSV, and that was another super expensive shot that he had to have monthly during RSV season. Once we got all of our bills back, I think he was going to be like $1.2 million, with all my prenatal and all the hospital stays and everything for the first year of his life, it was hemorrhaging money.
You would never know he had such a rough beginning. He’s 18, just graduated high school. He graduated early and he’s going to hang out for, I guess, this semester. And then he starts college in the fall. Yeah, he’s kind of my little hippie.
I always knew I wanted two and I always knew I wanted them close together. And I knew that if I waited too much time in between, I never would do it again. Joseph was also, believe it or not, 33 and three, and they were both born on the 14th. How weird is that? They’re 16 months apart.
With everything that’s happened, I can’t go through. It would be unfair for Grant. It’s not like I have great pregnancies and everything is hunky dory and I can have a water birth at home. My body tries to get rid of the baby from very early on, and knowing everything that I do now, it’s like I can’t do that.
And we also got a puppy. His name is Cooter Brown.
I’m glad that I didn’t have all the information back then. I trusted my doctors blindly because now I know that even though I was worried then, I think the amount of worry I would have now, knowing everything that I do, it would have been ten times harder.
Being naïve was a blessing and it had made it to where I’m terrified to get pregnant. We miscarried 18 months ago. It was super hard, but again, it was just like kind of in a weird way, like, with everything that’s happened in the past, it would be foolish to think that me, 20 years later in my body now, [should carry a pregnancy].
Jeremy wasn’t a dad. I was basically a single mom throughout my marriage and throughout both of the boys growing up. I’m super excited to experience having kids with someone who wants to be a part of it is exciting. Yeah.
It’s a completely different thing. Throughout them growing up, I was neurotic. I was terrified of germs down to when they got home from preschool, I would strip them in the garage so that they wouldn’t bring germs inside. I got a little weird, but it made me feel safe because so many other things were out of control. But, yeah, now I wouldn’t make my kids strip in the garage. How did I have time for that?
I’m glad that it all happened because the kids are great. The toddler [stage] is fun, but having a kid that is now your relationship is changing to where it’s like more of a friendship. It’s been a really fun thing with John that he’s getting older, and it’s not so much telling him what to do anymore. It’s kind of like seeing his path. It’s been kind of cool the last few months. I think it made me much closer to my kids because it was kind of like us against the world.”
The Mayo Clinic explains Placental Abruption here.
For more information on Medullary Sponge Kidney, check out The National Kidney Foundation.
For information on Synagis, given to babies at risk for RSV, Click Here.
All content and information on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult your doctor for advice on your particular medical situation.